


Creation Mythlology

by Broken_Story_locker



Category: John Dies at the End - David Wong
Genre: Eye of Ra, Inspired by ancient Egyptian mythology, Mention of pregnancy, Mentions of John's junk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 08:17:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17260778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Story_locker/pseuds/Broken_Story_locker
Summary: The universe has been destroyed and it is now the trio's job to bring it back.





	Creation Mythlology

Protected by magic, the crew sat staring at the vast nothing of their now nonexistent universe.  
They knew exactly what to do. Dave dug the eye of Ra out of his coat pocket and held it up to activate it. It wasn't working. John suggested “Shake it around a little, maybe the batteries are dead.”  
Dave smacked it against his palm like a TV remote. Still nothing happened. Feeling defeated he put it back where he got it.  
“So this is the end.” David said almost distantly.  
Amy chimed in “At least we've got each other.”  
John thought back on somethings Marconi had said to him years ago. Something important.  
Amy and Dave quickly picked up on the look he was making.  
“What would you happen to be thinking about?” asked Amy.  
The realization of what Marconi had been implying yanked John onto his feet.  
“Marconi, the dirty bastard!” he shouted.  
“How does he have anything to do this?” inquired Dave.  
John explained “Okay. What I am about to say may shock you. One of us has to give birth to the universe.”  
Dave and Amy shared an uncomfortable expression.  
Amy offered “If it means we can save everybody, I am willing to carry the universe.”  
Dave said “John, how exactly are we planning on doing this? We have no idea as to how long we can survive in this state.”  
John sat back down on the whatever it was supporting them.  
“Okay, first we have to-

[missing segment]

 

The eye passed John's lips, down his throat , and almost instantly it began to take effect.  
Dave was surprised that John had not exploded into a enormous ball of flame instantaneously. John began glowing and Dave's fears were reinstated. Starting from his core a celestial luminescence coursed through the waters of John's veins like a wildfire, fueled by the enraged powers of trillions of dead beings.  
Amy worriedly asked “John, how are you feeling?”  
In reply John spoke in an ethereal raspy ancient language that somehow translated perfectly in his friends minds. It was uncertain whether or not the powers of sauce had anything to do with it or if it was in fact a transcended first language, either way it got the message across with terrifying potency. Rough translation of what the thing possessing John said was, “Shield your eyes.”  
Amy and Dave pulled together as close as they could physically get for protection. Not more than nonexistent seconds later an indescribable shock wave of energy exploded from John.

[missing segment]

“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Dave said in shock.  
John quipped as he zipped up his pants, “I always had a feeling that my cock would save the universe.”  
Amy remarked “You think your junk can do anything.”  
“And so far, I have yet to be proven wrong.”  
Dave was quick to recall “You called me two weeks ago instead of emergency services after you got stuck inside a statue in your hotel room.”


End file.
